Catch- Up

Alright, I'm sorry! I have completely failed at blogging, even after I got the app, I'm just so busy it's not even funny. So this blog is entitled "catch up" because I feel like I have so much to...well...catch up on. I know I get overwhelmed when I see these kinds of posts so I think "oh boy, I don't really want to read a novel right now". SO here are some pictures to help you not get so bored.

The sky here has been amazing. This is the sky one day in the middle of the afternoon. I don't think I've ever seen the clouds look so much like fabric! Beautiful, had to get a pic.

Fall break this year was one of my favorite! Kentucky was gorgeous and it was so nice to have a long weekend to relax and hang out with friends. Loved playing in the leaves and learning how to throw a Frisbee too!

Most recently, one of my housemates just hung up a chain countdown until her boyfriend comes to visit! We're all so excited. He's South African and has only been in the US once since we've been to school. Now he's coming for almost 2 months! 36 days!! 

One more thing to take up my time! I am now an independent Thirty-One consultant! I'm so excited and really am enjoying doing it all. This was the set up for my first party and this is all that came in my enrollment kit! I love it, but it's sooo time consuming right now! There are so many things I want to do with it, but just do not have the time right now. I could devote an entire week to this alone! 

Well, I have no pictures for this one, but I started my field experience this past week and I start teaching on Monday. I'm a little overwhelmed, but excited. My kids are fantastic and I'm excited to be teaching all day! I'm just a little nervous because I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing! Please pray that I can feel prepared each day and that I can show these kids love. I feel like they don't get praised much and I just want them to know how beautiful they are! I already love them each so much! 

That's all for now. Hopefully more pics to come!

LL

On the Go

I just downloaded a blogging app on my phone so hopefully I'll be able to blog more without actually being in my computer. I'm loving this on the go convenience of a smartphone.
These next few weeks will be absolutely crazy for me, starting this past weekend with homecoming. It went really well and Clara Lutz did such a fantastic job organizing everything and setting everything up for her first time! It was busy but I'm glad it went well.
This Wednesday the Alumni office is sending the seniors on DAE to the Catalyst conference in Atlanta, which I'm very excited about. Unfortunately that means I have extra work to do for the classes I'll miss Thursday and friday. After we get back, well have three days of school and our fall break starts, so I'll be going to Kentucky with some of my friends. Hopefully that will be a little more relaxing. So yeah, I have exciting things going on, but there's never a dull moment in my life, that's for sure.
Hopefully I'll post soon about what God's doing with our Sunday class at church. I'm really excited about it, but now, just pray that you'll give us wisdom and patience and love for these students and wisdom on how to deal with everything.

Feelin' Famous

I mentioned that I'd post when my new blogs for Cedarville were posted. Well, guess what? They posted today! SO, you can go here and check out my last two CU blogs. We have our pictures up and everything. Not going to lie, I've kind of always wanted to have my picture on the website, so this is really exciting.

Anyway, for those of you away from Cedarville (which is probably most of you), I wanted to give you a little update on the awesome things God is doing on campus. Apparently, every freshman this summer received the book "True Religion" by Palmer Chinchen. I have not read the book, but in it he starts talking about the 1+billion people around the world who have no shoes. He began by having on "Barefoot Sunday"s where he challenged his congregation in CO to bring their shoes to the alter and go the rest of the day barefoot. He's been doing these Barefoot Sundays every year since. 

One freshman was inspired and challenged the freshman class to have a barefoot day at Cedarville. Palmer Chinchen came and spoke in chapel this past Thursday- the perfect opportunity for this ministry. They advertised it for about a week and "Barefoot Thursday" ended up gathering 3276 pairs of shoes. How awesome. I encourage you to go to Cedarville's Facebook page and look at the pictures taken that day of students going barefoot, thousands of shoes at the alter, and students gathering around the shoes pile bowed in prayer. Thank God for one freshman students' vision.

                             

Life as a Senior

I think I'll make it a point to update my blog whenever I write an entry for Cedarville. Considering I've posted my first one, it's time to update! I'll make sure and post a link here when my blogs are posted on the website, but mine might not be there every week. It's a little different writing when you know people will be reading it, especially when those people are prospective students, alumni and current students' parents. So much pressure.


Anyway, I'm really excited about the year so far. I love love love living off campus, my apartment and my housemates. We're getting along so well and having so much fun. We just had a photoshoot with one of our talented photographer friends for new pictures to hang in our family room. I think we were laughing in about every picture. I love making memories...it's kind of one of my favorite pastimes.


I'm really learning to make the most of everything. Unless I have already committed my time to something else, I'm trying to take up the moto "why not?" unless, of course, it's inappropriate or unreasonable. For example, right around the time school started, a bunch of friends and I drove to Columbus to go to Jeni's ice cream. Yes, we drove over an hour just for ice cream. Believe me, it was SO worth it- amazing!!! This coming Sunday, I have the opportunity to go moonlight canoeing in Columbus with some friends. How often in my life will I have these types of opportunities again? I'll definitely let you know how it goes.


I'm very thankful right now. Thankful for my friends, my housemates, my family and just where God has taken my life up to this point. I'm also thankful that He is in control and that I don't need to worry about what my future holds. I'm glad he knows, because I don't even want to think about it right now! Haha.


Oh, pray for my roommate, and very good friend, Meagan. She is flying to Bangladesh this coming Saturday for her 10-12 week student teaching. She's flying there alone (for the most part) and doesn't know anyone over there. She's getting really nervous, but pray that her flight goes smoothly and that she will feel God's peace and presence in the whole situation.

Meagan And I in the Sear's Tower

Reminders

Watching the beginning of my senior year creep closer and closer into reality I'm reminded of the things God has taught me in the last three years at Cedarville. Situations from Freshman year have resurfaced and I'm reminded of the lessons I was taught the first time- value people, invest in them, show Christ's love always but don't lead them on, manipulate them, or take advantage of them. I'm still on the edge of the delicate process of mixing all of these elements together and figuring out what exactly it looks like executed. Pray that I can deal with a touchy situation delicately and with consideration. 


Another thing I've been reminded of is to take advantage of the opportunities I have at this time in my life. I'm afraid I took many things for granted the past three years and I'm realizing there are so many other things I want to do, and I have one school year left to do it. Yes, I probably will be over committed this year, hopefully I'll be able to keep everything in perspective and still be disciplined, but between 17 credit hours, two jobs, two orgs, and possibly intramural volleyball, as well as having some kind of social life, it should be a fun year. Pray that I can be grateful for the things I have done, instead of pining for the things I missed out on. 


Lastly, I've been reminded to keep God as the main focus of my day. If I do not spend daily time in His Word, the reality of me speaking love and representing Christ effectively are so much less than if He is at the core of my day. The Word is not only to be respected or liked, it's to be enjoyed, craved, and delighted in. And although I openly acknowledge it's a constant struggle, it's a struggle worth fighting against. Pray that I will long to spend time in Scripture even when school work and responsibilities pile up. 


Psalm 20:7 "Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but [I] trust in the name of the Lord [my] God."
Proverbs 22:11 "One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have a king for a friend"

photo credit: Zach Murphy 

New Blessings

For those of you who don't know, I am one of 17 Cedarville students a part of Cedarville's Alumni Association. We help the Alumni office by helping with homecoming and other on-campus events as well as assist them in their chapter and regional events throughout the year across the country. This past week was our fall trip which is designed for training and team building. Our destinations included Rochester, NY, NH, CT, Boston, MA, and Warren, ME. On top of getting to know some of the sweetest, funniest, and down-to-earth people I've ever met, God worked in us this week and I am so blessed and thankful for these new additions to my life.
We had so much fun being goofs with each other, getting to know each other's lives and humor but my favorite was that we grew and challenged each other spiritually. When we sang, we sang unashamed in a small classroom in the mountains of NH, on the top of our lungs worshiping our God together. It was such a beautiful thing. We grew together as a family and for all of those reasons, I thank God for every single one of them and the unique aspect they bring to our group.


In NH, I was refreshed to be around a group of believers my age who were so in love with Christ and had the contagious joy of His presences in their lives. I desired to spend more time with them in His Word and worshipping together. God is so good to us, blessing us daily and I was reminded of this everyday on our trip...and every day since. I've been saying this for a while, but God is doing a work in my life right now and I am so excited to see how it plays out. Yes, I'm always nervous when life changes up a little, but my God is a God who controls the sun, each star, every cloud, bird in the sky, and each moment I'm alive. He is in perfect command of my life and it is His to do as He pleases. God is continuing to work. May I have the diligence and obedience to do my part and spend time with Him, that I can carry out His will for my life to glorify Him alone and spread Him through the world.

Blind Blessings

I know I really need to be in bed after a 13 hour day at work and church early in the morning, but I'm in the mood to write. First of all, I wanted to share an awesome site my mom's boss and friend got us hooked on. It's called Pinterest.com and I can post things that I like in all kinds of categories. It's a little hard to explain, but check it out...here!


Anyway, I can't believe the summer is coming to an end and I am beginning my last year of college. I hardly feel old enough. Not only that, but I'm a planner. I knew my major when I was in first grade. I knew what school I wanted to go to in sixth. Now I cannot see a single day past May 5, 2012- graduation day. In high school whenever I thought of life after Cedarville, I always assumed I would be engaged or married and then find a job wherever my husband had a job. Well, considering my current status that is obviously not going to happen. And that's okay. It's always a little nerve-racking when you have to rely on God blind, that is, not having any idea what He has for you. God put the desire in my heart to be a teacher and to go to Cedarville and I trust Him fully to provide for me and take care of my when I graduate, I'd just like to see what's going to happen! I know He is faithful and he has already blessed me in so many ways. And while I am anxious about how He'll provide, I'm mostly excited to see how He'll exceed my expectations once again. 

For His Plans are Not Our Plans...

God has a funny way of changing our desires sometimes, you  know? Without going into too many details, I can feel the desires of my heart regarding my future change in a direction I would swear would never happen. I can't say I particularly mind either. I'm just amazed by God sometimes. When I think I have my life all figured out and planned down to the last detail, circumstances change, people move in or out of my life, and I find what I was so passionate about at one point, has completely diminished and the fire goes out.  How can you describe this sudden change with someone who has not experienced the presence of Christ in their lives? My only explanation, as a Christian, is that God has far better things for me than I could come up with on my own and therefore, He has to take my desires and passions and change them so I become passionate about what HE is passionate about. Yearn for the things HE yearns for, and pray to fall into alliance wiht HIS will for my life. I hope and pray that He will continue working on my heart, changing my dreams to fit HIS dreams for me and living a life worthy of a testament of HIS work. 
                                 

My Lord, My Savior, My...BFF?

I must admit that I am loving my summer vacation and until recent the idea of going back to school put a knot in my stomach, but God has been teaching me a lot recently and one of the lesson is that I have a lot to learn. Another lesson that hit me hard is my insecurity. I didn't realize how much I put my personal worth in the opinion and acceptance of other people. It wasn't until I felt that acceptance become shaky that I felt my entire foundation crumble beneath me. Not only did I feel like a junior high girl, I felt that my God wasn't that main focus in my life and once again, I felt his love and sweet grace poor over me like a fresh rain. 
Sure, I still value my friends, after all, good friends are wonderful gifts from God, but I am reminded that "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." -Prov. 18:24. I am loving my time with Christ and spending more time with him. He has given me such a peace I haven't felt in a long time. Needless to say, His grace rescues me daily and I have learned to be content with Him as my new best friend. How blessed I am to be living on His daily Grace. 

In Colorado it's impossible not to see His fingerprints all over. I loved spending time today outside admiring His creation. This, my friends, is one place I would love to live. 

Summer Lovin'

And by the title, I just mean...lovin' summer, although I can't deny a possible desire for some summer lovin' myself, by ANYWAYS...
I'm free at last, and man, does it feel good. I'm sure I've mentioned this is a previous post, but this past semester of college was by far the most difficult one yet. Taking 21 credits and working close to twenty hours a week AND having a social life was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. Not to mention spiritually as well. After that craziness, I decided it was a good idea to take a block of classes equaling 7 credits into three weeks. And actually, it was. When I get my license, I will be certified to teach preK-5 instead of to third only.
I'm so excited to be home. I don't have any homework hanging over my head or something to do so pressing i get knots in my stomach. I finally get to hang out with my friends without having to rush back to school and, as strange as this might sound, I'm excited to start working more. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing group of friends and family, I wouldn't want to spend my summer with anyone else. This past weekend, the sun was shining, the temperature was high and it finally felt like summer. Besides, this time next year, I will be a college graduate :) 
               

Blessed by Undeserved Grace

I am overwhelmed with amount of grace I've seen the Lord bless me with recently. I know I'm spoiled with grace daily and I don't even stop to recognize it, but over the past two days it has been blessing after undeserved blessing. Last night, a large storm swept through the Miami Valley and decided to drop it's worst directly in my neighborhood. I had taken our minivan to school so my little car was at home in the driveway. After the help of very dear people, we discovered four to five large cracks on my windshield and dents all over the car. I am extremely thankful for my older brother and his help last night. He drove with me, all the way home, helped me clean out the garage and move in my car to protect it from further damage. He has always been one of my heroes and the person I've looked up to the most and I am so blessed to now be his friend, as adults, as well as his sister. 
On my way back to school I called my dad to fill him in on the situation only to find out they had to take my mom to the ER for a detached retina in her right eye. By the goodness of God, he placed the exact right people in the right time and place to help my mom and do the procedure needed in the time frame in which she needed it done. While she's still not out of the woods and the prognosis of her vision is still yet to be "seen" (sorry for the pun) we are blessed to serve a loving and watchful God. 
And the blessings keep coming. My poor car only has liability coverage and we were certain we would be on our own to pay for the damages- money I did not have. A new camera and an upcoming vacation seemed to be vanishing in front of me as I thought about the possible quotes to fix Tessa. We contacted our insurance agent anyway and I'm grateful we did. My car has full coverage and we might be able to get the dents fixed as well. Thank the LORD for His blessings!
I am so undeserving of anything He has done for me. If they only thing Christ ever did was die for my sins on the cross, and left us alone, I would still have reasons to be thankful to Him and indebted to him my entire life. But He hasn't left us. He continues to be faithful and loving and merciful and I am forever grateful for Him in my life. 

Bin Ladan's Grace?

Okay, since everyone and their mother's cousin is talking about Osama Bin Ladan's death and what the Christian's response should be, I figured I'd take the time to write my reflection on the recent events.
First of all, I'll just say that I'm not the best at keeping up with news or even caring as much as I should. I do love our country but I won't be the first to be labeled as patriotic. As far as Osama Bin Ladan goes, he was an evil, wicked man who is responsible for the death of thousands of people.
Here's where the controversy and Christianity comes in. Osama Bin Ladan is a human marked by the curse and condemned by his sin. News flash- I am also a human marked by the curse and condemned but my sin, and so are you. My white lies and sinful thoughts would land me in hell just as quickly as Bin Ladan's mass murder attacks. But this is the difference, my friend. I have chosen grace and forgiveness by the blood of the Lamb- the death of Jesus Christ. I have acknowledged my sin and depravity and have chosen a life indebted to Christ because of his sacrifice for me. Whether Bin Ladan had the opportunity to hear the Gospel before his death, no one knows but if he did not recognize his sinful life and commit it to Christ, he is eternally separated from God in hell. There are many accounts in Scripture where God has destroyed the wicked, even take the Flood as an example. I cannot look at this situation much different. Bin Ladan chose his fate and chose his lifestyle- it wasn't forced upon him. And I'm sorry, but I cannot feel sorry for a man who slaughtered innocent people, specifically innocent Americans.
I take comfort and peace in the words of Scripture and the promise of protection of God. Psalm 37:28-29 says:

For the LORD loves the just 

   and will not forsake his faithful ones.

   Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed; 

   the offspring of the wicked will perish. 

²⁹ The righteous will inherit the land 

   and dwell in it forever.

Pride

I wish I could take credit for this, but this is a section from Beth Moore's Bible Study "Living Free". A good friend of mine and mentor gave me this book at a point where I just didn't know what to read anymore. This particular section stood out to me:

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny...

because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment...

because you "deserve better than this".

I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.

I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness...

because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.

I cheat you of genuine friendship...

because nobody's going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love...

because real romance demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of God's glory...

because I convince you to see your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

You like me because you thing I'm always looking out for you.

Untrue.

I'm looking to make a fool of you.

God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...

If you stick with me...

You'll never know. 

Focusing on Grace

I see the light at the end of a very long, treacherous tunnel. Two more days and I'm free...as long as I can get all my projects and paperwork done that is. This has been the most trying semester on me, physically, emotionally and, the most unfortunate and evident, spiritually. 

Ever since coming to college I've been feeling strained in my relationship with Christ. After having Christian education for 13+ years, hearing the same basic message over and over, I've almost felt numb. Not that I am not still amazed by the grace Christ gives us every day (hence the blog title), but the repetitiveness of it all has definitely had a toll on me spiritually. This past year has been the hardest for me. In May of 2010, my church of my entire life closed, leaving me without the church family I've grown up with, and the church building I practically lived in. While I wasn't mad at God or blame Him for anything, this was definitely a speed bump in my spiritual walk. I didn't want to go to church on Sundays because it was too weird, and sometimes, too painful. I guess I've never fully recovered. Throughout the summer, I attended a church close to home, often going by myself...but something was missing- my family.

In October, my parents and I started going to another church on a regular basis and we've been there ever since. I'm not in love with it, but it's the closest thing to home I've ever felt in another church. It doesn't have the ministries I'm looking for and I'm still just as much without the support as when I was church hopping. The people are friendly, but I really only see it as a temporary church. The question creeps to my mind very often "will I ever feel at home in a church again?" MY church closed a year ago. Every other church is someone else's. 

I felt this the most at Easter. Every once in a while I get "homesick" for the church I new and loved, but it has been almost a year. Over Easter weekend I couldn't help but think of the music we'd be singing or the festivities that would be happening back at my church. During the song service, we sang classic Easter hymns and I was choking back hot tears. Most of these songs I've only sung at one spot- my church. As I sang "He Arose" and other hymns, flashbacks of 20 years gone by continuously came to mind. 

Not feeling connected to a church has had more effect on my spiritual walk than I ever imagined. I'm struggling badly with continuously developing a relationship with God...and it's sad that sometimes I don't even notice. Just before Easter I realized that I hadn't spent time with God, through church, chapel, or daily devotions, in at least three weeks. My soul is dying of thirst and hunger, and yet I feel so unworthy and ashamed to approach the throne now. I was in chapel for a meeting the other day and just being in that room, where chapel happens daily and I usually hear the Word and talk with Christ, filled me with such an emotion of refreshment. No wonder I am so exhausted and worn out- my soul is dried up. 

A good friend and mentor of mine gave me a devotional book that I was doing for a while. I committed to doing it daily...for a while. Now I have not touched it in over a month. Like I said, I feel so ashamed and unworthy to go back now. I need community. Christian community. This summer, I need to get involved in a small group or house church. That's the problem- I have no Christian fellowship, spending time in the Word. I can't do it on my own. First of all, I need the strength and motivation of Christ. Secondly, I need the BODY of Christ. I'm one that needs the encouragement and accountability. 

I'm sorry if this post has been too personal or emotional. Part of me hesitates on even posting such personal feelings online, but I know I'm not the only one that struggles. And personally, I'd like to hear from those who have been there, or are there now. 

I'm focusing on the cross and daily grace.

Today, I chose grace...

Lois

Here I Go

This year, I was/am a target caller for the admissions department at my school. I call prospective students, promote the school and get a feel of if we are on their consideration list or not. It's not the best job I've had, but that's simply because I'm not really a phone person. I've enjoyed the job and really like the people I work with. Next year, I've been made a target calling supervisor. Among other responsibilities, this means I will become a students blogger for the school. Since this starts in the fall, I figured I start blogging now...just for me before I start blogging to prospective students, parents and alumni. I guess that's a little explanation for the blog. 


This weekend, obviously, was Easter weekend. My roommate and I left Thursday for my house and are going back sometime later tonight. As much as I'm very much ready to be finished with this semester, I know that once I go back to school, I only have a week before I'm home. It's been so nice to be home. This semester has been the more insane, chaotic, stressful thing I've ever done in my life. Every time I can get a break to come home, relax, or even work I take it and soak in every minute I can get. I don't know what I would do without my weekends home. 
It's so hard to be far away from everyone I love. Sure, I've made good friends at home and I'll really miss them when I graduate, but those are even few. My family and very best friends are home. My parents and I have become a lot closer while I've been at school and I work with the best friends I can imagine. That's why I love my weekends. I get to see my parents at home and church and I work on Saturdays. Even going to work is refreshing- just being back. Yeah, sometimes it's overwhelming, but working with such awesome people is worth waking up at 4:30 some Saturday mornings. 


I'm ready for this summer when I can work full time and get to see my friends more often. I'm even more ready to graduate and be home full time- not having to go back. Don't get me wrong, I love my school. I've been involved and I wouldn't change my mind if I had to do it again. It's just...I've enjoyed my time, but I'm ready for it to be over. 
There is so much more I could say- and I want to say. But for the first blog, I think I'll just leave it at that. I know it's not the most coherent or cohesive blog ever, but I guess that's just how my mind is working at this point. I'm a "journaler" by nature. I've been journaling since I was fourteen, but it still doesn't make me a good writer. Usually, my journals are very private and personal to me...so we'll see how blogging ends up working out. 


For now, God bless-
Lois